GLASS: THE FAMILY, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Obsessed

For me, the first 4 months of pregnancy are miserable.  Life seems to fly at a constantly ridiculous speed, until that first dreaded day of morning sickness (which everyone knows is all day and all night). Then the world, or maybe just my world, comes to an almost screeching halt.  After the reality sinks in and I strive to have a decent attitute and not let my kids die from starvation (making them food is almost unbearable), life does start to move...at a snail's pace.  Every day seems forever.  My only goal is to survive.  Everything that I normally find fascinating and enjoyable now bores me or makes me sick.  Food makes me gag and then puke.  Sometimes even just the mention of a certain food makes me ill.  I lie around all day, searching my brain for any kind of food that I think I might be able to get down.  This mental exercise is draining, because about an hour after I have finally had success eating a few bites or yogurt, or a handfull of glute-free pretzels (which are surprisingly tasty) or half a banana (never more),  the hunger/nausea pains begin to increase again.  Now what am I going to eat? 

This pregancy so far, almonds have been my best friend. But the only thing that really gets my mind off my own misery is comedy.  I need something funny, anything to make me laugh!  So for the first couple of weeks, I watched every episode of Parks & Rec available on Netflix.  That show is hilarious!  I loved it.  I didn't even care that I was turning into a bit of a TV addict.  It's not like I watch TV all day.  Just for like 3 hours every afternoon.  Yeah, I know, it sounds pretty bad!  We also watched shows like Leave it to Beaver  and Signing Times, so that makes it a little better, right?  At any rate, I don't really care if it's a little bit terrible.  And that is the other thing that bothers me about "morning" sickness.  I become ambivilant about things that I normally care very much about. The longer I'm sick, the less I care.  It's a good thing I have my family and a calling at church, because I really do care very much about people.  And it makes me feel semi-normal for a little while to spend time with the young women and other leaders who are my friends a couple times a week. 

So, after a few weeks of awful days and long, horrible nights - and after I ran out of Parks and Rec episodes - I came up with the idea of reading.  I LOVE to read!  I hardly ever allow myself the luxury because it just doesn't seem responsible when I have so many other more important things that I barely manage to accomplish as it is.  But I figured that while I am too weak to clean for more than a few minutes at a time, too dizzy to workout, and too unmotivated to accomplish something of real worth (I'm not completely horrible - I do still read to my kids and play the piano for them), this is the perfect time to forget my worries and dive into a good story!

Enter my new obsession: The Hunger Games.  It is hard to explain the obsession, because it isn't just about a good story line or well written books or even compelling characters (although all of these elements certainly contribute to the overall appeal of the series).  What I love about the books is something much deeper, and multi-layered.  On one level, I love the evolution of the main character.  I love looking at her world through her eyes, as she grasps to understand the people and situations around her as well as (and especially) her own feelings.  At the beginning, she is focused solely on survival.  But through her experiences, she finds her humanity.  Her vision widens and her feelings deepen.  The way this evolution comes to fruition is absolutely brilliant, because you feel it happening inside of you, too.  But then, on another level entirely, is the story of a revolution, and what happens when society rises up against extreme oppression.  It is not pretty!  It is painful. It is bleak. There are characters you grow to love who die and people who are supposed to be defending freedom, but who are actually more interested in power.  But there is also hope and healing and a fresh start.  And I like that, because it is a reflection of reality.  And there is a bit of a love story, a love story that is believable, one that is anything but shallow. 


So now that I have read all three books, I find my self re-reading little parts, then huge sections!  I don't think I've loved any fictional story this much since Gone With The Wind.  Maybe I'm a nerd, but I don't care.  Maybe I should read more good books.  It has been a long time!  Let me know if you have any great suggestions... my usual attention span has been greatly reduced, so I pretty much don't have patience for it unless it's extremely interesting or entertaining.  Excuse my temporary shallow-ness!  But please, suggest away!

10 comments:

Sam said...

I'm reading a book right now titled "If Walls Could Talk." It's a fun book that basically is the history of how the house evolved from Medieval times to present. It has short little chapters on things like the history of toilet paper, heating and lighting, closets, etc. Maybe I'm a dork and like reading about trivial stuff like that, but I've found it so interesting.

Cami said...

If you enjoyed Hunger Games, you might also like The Dark is Rising series, the Golden Compass series and/or Among the Hidden. Hope the morning sickness subsides soon for you!

Courtnie said...

My favorite book evah is To Kill a Mockingbird. Love it! I can read it over and over and over and over . . .

Also, I really enjoyed The Host by Stephanie Meyer. It was a fun Science Fiction.

Courtnie said...

Oh, and I'm sorry you're soooo sick. I hate the morning sickness and picky stomach that comes with making a sweet baby. Aaah, but through your trials, you reap such great rewards, eh?


:)

Unknown said...

Your description of morning sickness is so...perfect...it's one of those experiences you can't really put into words, but you did. It makes me so sad to think of how crappy you've been feeling though.

Jolee B. said...

I'm feeling a little sick just reading about you being sick... so I'm sorry! That really is the worst thing in the entire world! I wish I was there to feed your kids for you, since you fed me practically every day. :)
As for books... Crossing to Safety is a beautiful book. I think you'd really enjoy it. Also, The Ladies Auxiliary. Kind of a fun book... reminded me of the Relief Society. The Art of Racing in the Rain... very good! And Manhunt, about John Wilkes Booth... super great!
Are you on Goodreads? You should join and then look me up (Jolee B) and you can see all the books I've read. It's kind of a fun way to do it.
PS, loved your comment on my blog! Thank you for understanding my point! Miss you too!!

Megan said...

Hey, Michelle! I'll confess rather rudely that I don't actually struggle from much morning sickness. With Camryn, I did feel very nauseated that first trimester but never threw up, but with Tamsin and this baby, it's like a low-level feeling of blah. Nothing to even complain about. I am very, very lucky in this, partly because I have a crippling fear of throwing up and I know the Lord knows if I were super sick with my first baby, I wouldn't have more than one!!! But the price to pay for easy breezy pregnancies is the worst, most mind-warping, soul-crushing, anger-inducing PPD in the world. Where I feel nothing for my children but near mania-inducing irritation and depression and a desperation to leave my house and never, ever come back. And it lasts on and off for over a year with each baby. I wonder what it's like to look forward to a baby, because in the back of my mind, I know another year of PPD is coming. We're actually considering a move to CA to be near Karl's awesome mom because I won't survive another round of PPD on my own. We have few friends and no ward support here in Draper. At least, nothing beyond a week of meals. I want to be excited and have faith that this will be asker this time, but it's so, so scary when it happens that I can't help but feel trepidation and dread. I AM taking more steps to handle it when it comes, but...I spend a lot of time being angry with the Lord for giving me this trial. But blessing after blessing tells me I've been given this trial for a reason, and that if I endure it well, I will be able to turn and help others who are suffering in a way that no one else can. AND I DO NOT WANT THIS BURDEN! But this last year has taught me that this, in fact, is what Christ did for me through the atonement. And when I was baptized, I promised to show the same love and service for those around me. It has given me a perspective I could not have gained any other way. I'd just like to know, WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO PAINFUL SOMETIMES?!?

That being said, I have my first doctor's appointment next week, and my estimated due date is Dec. 15th. But because I get cholestasis, I'll be induced at 38 weeks. So more like Dec. 1st or thereabouts! Nice in a way, because then Christas won't be quite so crazy.

Megan said...

Uh, the word "asker" was SUPPOSED to be "easier." this iPad, I tell you!

Megan said...

As for books, I've been rereading the Anne of Green Gables series, plus I LOVE the Mitford series by Jan Karon (about an episcopal priest who discovers love and family long past the age he expected to--wonderful and heartwarming). Plus, if you need to laugh, my go-to book is A Girl Named Zippy and its sequel She Got Up Off The Couch by Haven Kimmel.

i said...

Bummer. I was hoping things would go better for you this go around!!! Great job passing the time though!. :)